The Myth That One Parent Always Wins in Parenting Matters – Why Parenting Cases Aren’t About Winners or Losers

In family law, one of the most damaging myths we hear is that “one parent always wins.” This belief often fuels anxiety, fear, and unnecessary conflict during separation. The truth is much more balanced — and far more focused on what really matters: the best interests of the child.

❌ It’s not about mothers vs. fathers

Gone are the days of automatic assumptions or gender-based outcomes. The Family Law Act 1975 makes it clear: both parents are considered equally important unless there’s a reason otherwise. There’s no default parent. Decisions are made based on each family’s unique situation, not outdated stereotypes.

✅ It’s about the child, not the parent

The court’s primary focus is what’s in the child’s best interests — not who "wins." This includes factors like the child’s safety, emotional wellbeing, connection with both parents, and stability.

🤝 Shared parenting doesn’t always mean equal time

Many people confuse "equal shared parental responsibility" with "equal time." They’re not the same. Shared responsibility refers to decision-making — about schooling, healthcare, religion — not necessarily a 50/50 time split. Parenting arrangements are tailored to what works best for the child’s age, needs, and routine.

🧭 The goal is cooperation, not competition

When parents work together (or through their lawyers) to make child-focused decisions, outcomes are almost always better. Family law encourages resolution by agreement — not a court-imposed “win” for one and “loss” for the other.

Bottom line:

There’s no prize for “winning” in parenting matters — because it’s not a competition. When both parents focus on what’s best for their children, everyone wins.

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